Oh the Audacity of It!

This Isn't The Bathroom

2009-08-29T09:48:42Z

Title: This Isn't The Bathroom
Fandom: Two and a Half Men
Main Kink: Watersports, Charlie/Alan, consent questionable.
Time Line: Inspired by the episode "The Price of Healthy Gums Is Eternal Vigilance", so probably somewhere early in season two. I would like to expand this story into a couple other nights.
I do not own Two and a Half Men nor am I making any profit off of this story.

Charlie was quiet as he trudged into his house at nearly one in the morning. It was one of those times when he had failed splendidly at bedding the girl. Made it all the way to her door before BAM the “I think you're a good friend” line. What a waste of time.

He headed up the stairs, unbuttoning his shirt as he went. No one else seemed to be awake, thankfully. He didn't feel like talking. Once in his bedroom he immediately stripped off the rest of his clothes and pulled out his favorite lube, the kind that heated up and made your toes curl. Masturbating was a little humiliating, but he was a strong believer that sex every day (any kind) would keep him fit and able without ever needing a little blue pill.

Relaxing back into his pillows, he started fantasizing about some of his better lays. To his credit and pride he got himself hard in under a minute and began stroking the lube onto his cock.

He sped up as his slick cock began to grow warmer. Suddenly a memory of Alan popped into his head, mouth agape as he realized Charlie had pissed on him as he slept, back when they were just kids. That only sprung those memories to the fore and Charlie's dick was so hard and hot as he remembered pissing on his little brother's stomach all those years ago. Those thrilling nights of sneaking into Alan's room to pull back the bed covers, of getting so excited he almost couldn't do it. But then his hot piss was splashing onto Alan, soaking him down and there was nothing Alan could do and -

Charlie came almost without realizing it.

He lay there gasping in the dark, shocked that he had just got off on... no, he couldn't have. But his hand was sticky with come and the image of a sleeping Alan drenched in piss still lingered. He continued panting in the afterglow for a few more seconds before mentally washing his hands clean of the fantasy. Then he really cleaned himself off, rolled over and fell asleep.

Charlie's bladder started complaining about his alcohol intake a few hours later, rousing him from the beginnings of a dream. A dream where Alan was on his knees at Charlie's feet, a golden stream wetting him down.

Charlie practically shook himself, trying to clear the dream away. But it stayed, playing through his mind and melding with the memories from before as Charlie rolled out of bed.

He thought he was heading for his bathroom until he saw the hall before him, Alan's door blocking his path. He hesitated, unsure exactly what he was planning to do.

“What the hell,” He muttered as he opened the door. He wasn't known for his impulse control.

Quietly he crept into the dark room. He could hear Alan breathing softly in the black rectangle of his bed. Coming closer, he saw Alan was sleeping curled on his side, facing Charlie. What a perfect pose.

Carefully, Charlie flicked Alan's covers off of him in one smooth motion, revealing his pajama-clad body. Smirking, he slipped his hand down his boxers and pulled out his dick. His head was swimming with memories as he aimed for Alan's stomach.

A thrill shot up his spine as his piss splashed onto Alan. Like all those years ago, his uptight brother didn't so much as stir.

Pathetic Alan, wannabe doctor, he looked so much better covered in piss. His stomach and crotch were soaked, clothes clinging tight to his body, outlining him from the curve of his hips to his balls. Charlie glanced at Alan's still pristine face, and suddenly it wasn't enough.

He shifted slightly and watched, enthralled, as his stream of piss painted a dark streak across Alan's chest and onto his face. Alan's head jerked violently, hands instinctively coming up to try to block the hot piss. He sputtered out a startled sound and Charlie tried desperately to hit his open mouth, but Alan was already pushing himself upright. Instead Charlie ended up emptying the final drops from his bladder back onto Alan's front.

Alan wiped at his eyes, blinking through the stinging piss. He wasn't sure what was happening but wasn't surprised to see his brother standing before him. He glared at him, about to start shouting indignantly when he couldn't help but notice Charlie's half hard penis almost staring him in the eye. The sharp tang of urine was unmistakable but somehow Alan suspected there was more going on than a cruel joke. They stared at each other, Charlie's half lidded expression completely foreign to Alan.

“Charlie, what are you doing?” Alan said evenly, the tremor at the end barely noticeable.

Alan's voice broke the spell and snapped Charlie back to reality. The drops of piss sliding down the side of Alan's face seemed so surreal. And crap, he was just staring at him. Charlie really wished he'd thought this through a little more.

“Uh, oops. This isn't the bathroom,” He said lamely, quickly tucking his dick away. “I, ah, gotta stop drinking.”

Alan's eyebrows raised but he eagerly accepted the excuse anyway.

“Yeah. Yeah, that stuff'll kill you, you know,” Alan agreed, slipping off his bed and trying hard to ignore the way his clothes stuck uncomfortably to his skin.

He almost put his hand on Charlie's shoulder, fingers hovering for a split second, but instead he gave an awkward flourish with his other hand toward the door. Charlie got the hint and made a hasty retreat. Alan shut the door behind him without another word. He briefly considered locking the door before he simply turned toward his private bathroom.

Charlie went back to his own room, not daring to test his luck further. He mentally patted himself on the back, marveling at how stupid and gullible Alan was to buy the lie and immensely satisfied with the whole experience.

In the morning, Alan would make a snide comment about Charlie's drunken habits, both otherwise pretending nothing had happened.

Kink Bingo!

2009-08-29T09:35:44Z

My sister convinced me to join in Kink Bingo just before it ends, haha. xD Too late to submit my bingo now, but still, this card makes me feel surprisingly inspired!
So, wish me luck in finishing anyway!

Here's my card as an image map with links.

I'm aiming for a diagonal from fisting to locks/chains, even though the challenge has technically already ended. Oh well though, it's fun anyway! ^^

I currently have my watersports entry finished, my fisting a quarter or so done, and plans for all the rest pretty much solified. :) Just gotta write & type everything up!

I Didn't Think Hurting You Would Hurt Me So Bad

2007-12-27T09:49:41Z

Title of Work: I Didn't Think Hurting You Would Hurt Me So Bad
Rating: G, perfectly fine for all readers.
Disclaimer: This work is solely of my own original poetry (so as far as I know). Please do not use in any way without my permission. Thank you.
Summary: I was loved, once. But I destroyed that love. I really didn't think it'd hurt at the time. This is part of the confessional letter written after my conscience caught up, in a more poetic form than originally. It's been more than a year; I'm almost over her.
Word Count: 300

I Didn't Think Hurting You Would Hurt Me So Bad

I’m used to this life of pain.

Broken yet still beautiful

Like shards of polished glass,

are you used to this life of pain yet?

You’re still too fragile . . .

-

I wrote a letter today,

filled with my broken confessions

of every sin against you

I’m probably gonna regret this but

I wasn’t true to your heart-

I’m not who you thought-

I wasn’t made to be perfect-

Born of sin, what did you expect?

I’m so ashamed...

-

Cause, for awhile,

I thought I could be

I wanted to be perfect for you

I wanted to be so good to you.

I tried so hard. Really, I did

Couldn’t you tell from my lies?

-

‘Yes, I will always be here’

‘Yes, I’ll fill any role you cast’

‘Yes, you are my first, my last’

‘Yes, I love only you dearest’

-

Wish that were real? Me too.

-

Cause for short while,

I think I did love you

admiting it now is cruel.

Don’t you see, I’m just a bitch:

Digusting impluses in human stitch.

I could have kept up the faux pas

but your scars may never heal as is.

Truth has never been my style.

-

(I’m just not good enough)

I’m sorry I wasn’t your angel

I’m sorry I let you down

I’m crazy suicidal and just plain stupid and

I’m sorry I don’t return your calls

I’m sorry I can’t face you anymore

(I’m just not strong enough)

-

You’re everything I’m not!

put simply

you still have your whole life,

minus these shards

your sanity hopefully,

your inner beauty surely,

I’ll only corrupt it further.

Please, don’t say you love me.

Just don’t, hurts too much you see,

My heart can’t take the guilt

-

(I can’t be your hero)

I’m sorry I wasn’t your angel

I’m sorry I let you down

I’m crazy suicidal and just plain stupid and

I’m sorry I don’t return your calls

I’m sorry I can’t face you anymore

(Don’t have the love to be a lover)

-

(I can't ever say)

I’m so sorry.

I... can’t accept your love . . .

(I’ll always love you, too)

After Effects

2007-12-27T09:07:28Z

This Christmas was not too bad, certainly not anywhere near as bad as I feared :) Okay, I'll just say it: It was fabulous!

Actually, I stayed up all night trying to finish presents and kept falling asleep on the comfy couch when I got there (after being ran out of the bedroom lol). According to my twin, people came over and took my picture while I was sleeping. I just hope I wasn't drooling with my mouth hanging open!

Then they gave me my newest nephew and I was bottle-feeding him, trying desperately not to fall asleep and accidentally drop him, while he tried desperately to stay awake long enough to drink the whole bottle. In the end, with my elbow propped up securely on the couch and him cradled against me, I don't know which of us fell asleep first. I just know when I woke up again to shouts at my turn to open presents, my twin informed me that once again the rounds had been made to take my picture!

Present-wise, I got a Quick Star French & English Language course, a burned copy of the complete collection of Dir en grey's albums & singles (! Seriously! I am so overjoyed with this!) from my elder sister, and a 4x3 DigiPro Drawing Tablet (I can't even express how amazed I am at getting this besides an extensive listing of exclamation points and senseless gibbering, that I've kindly edited out) from my sister's boyfriend. Now I just gotta figure out how to use it all :D I was stunned beyond words; I was almost stunned beyond expression at seeing it all. I really didn't expect to get anything, but maybe a few Dir en grey songs on CD (I only had Marrow of a bone. and Withering to Death previously). The tablet pretty much blew me away. I mean, last year I was trying to find one to buy, but even used they were so expensive x_x I'd just resigned myself to the mouse and forgot about ever getting one in the near future. But now... I've got one! OMG! So this X-Mas was so far beyond my expectations that I have nothing but gratitude and an insane will to find something worthy to give in return, somehow someway.

I do wish I hadn't missed all the kids opening up their gifts though. Darn it, why didn't I have that extra cup of coffee?! At least I didn't have to talk to everyone or listen to snide comments from my family, hehe.

Back In Time For Christmas

2007-12-25T16:06:27Z

I hate personal revelations, unless it's just dumb pointless stories. But isn't that obvious, since I tried and failed to get into this whole on-line journal thing a year ago?

Ah well. Second chances, I suppose.

Well, I do want to say to my friends thank you very much for the comments :) I'm sorry for the times I didn't reply back.

An updated on my last post, I didn't make it past a year (I practically celebrated the year of abstinence with sex, ugh, my own worst enemy).

Hey, Halloween was cool. My typical guise is a slasher's victim. Couldn't get a hold of a goat to slaughter for guts, otherwise would have been a surgeon's victim ;)

And now, it's Christmas. Man, I just don't really like this holiday that much. Too much commericalism. Plus I have a huge family and I never know what gifts to get everyone, and even when I think I do, my ideas almost always get vetoed by my elders! xD But, it's obvious no one knows what to get me either, hehe.

But that's okay, I don't really mind not getting presents, which is another thing I rather dislike about the holiday and birthdays in general. I wish I didn't have a birthday. Makes me feel guilty for living. I don't want to accept gifts, I don't quite know why but I just don't like receiving such things from people. It just feels like it comes with a lot of added baggage and that if I accept it's like I'm signing a promissory note to repay the price doubly over. Only the cake seems guilt free, besides cheating on my diet, since everyone gets to enjoy it.

Oh well though. Guess there's only one real way to end this post.

Merry Christmas!

First Personal Post -- Be Afraid! I Am xD

2006-10-17T02:23:53Z

Okay, so I decided to take some friend's advice and... go ahead and post a bit from my life. Two big events happening at the moment.

Because firstly I'm taking driving lessons now. Yay. I had my second lesson yesterday, the first the day before. I drove through a country road and along the highway for a stretch at 65 miles an hour, also through town. Passed a bunch of cars. My twin sister is taking lessons now too, she hasn't had to pass any cars or done more than drove through town/dirt road yet.

But still! I think I'm doing rather well. ^^ Just must remember to stop at stop signs and not hug the shoulder. ;)

Um. Also. A BIG bit of personal achievement for me. I've been abstinent from sex for an entire year! Haven't had sex with a guy or girl for a whole year! Which is very big, considering I haven't gone so long without sex since I was... what, 7? Christ, a nympho since seven, I suck -_-;
I can hardly believe it. And some days, I regret it, hehe, but I’m pretty proud of myself overall.

Oh well. Little steps! A week without sex, a month without sex, a year! I can't believe I can say no =O I said no, well, sorta ^^; There was this guy... but I didn't fuck him! I'm so proud of myself. I probably would have if he hadn't started bragging just about getting to grope me. I mean come on! Geez, such a big mouth. That and for some reason I wasn’t really getting aroused around him... Maybe girls are more my thing now, or he was just too annoying with his wishful whispers of “you’re breathing hard” and “your heart’s beating faster” (insert sly smile and eyebrow wiggle). Heh, and nevermind we were wrestling on a trampline. XD But not being particularly attracted to the person had never stopped me before. So, wow, how much have I changed...

But I'm glad. Because if I would have had sex with him, I wouldn't have lasted to a year. Just... 11 months and something xD Whenever it was I saw him. <_< So. Yes, I'm very pleased with myself. Of course. Masturbation doesn't count as sex right? XD Well, I'm not counting it, cause if I did... Then I'd say the longest I've ever gone would still be just a week! 8D Go me anyway. ^_^ And now to just stop skipping school and finish the last godforsaken year T_T That's me. My update. Um. Lastly. Go click this link: http://world4.monstersgame.co.uk/?ac=vid&vid=47067677 XD Yay for juvenile games!

Simply Lustful

2006-10-09T04:33:19Z

Title of Work: Simply Lustful
Rating: R or there 'bouts. Rated for a reason! Highly volatile sexuality expressed within.
Disclaimer: This work is solely my own original poetry. Please do not use in any way without my permission. Thank you.
Summary: A dangerously edgy bit of prose dragging you into a perverse emotion-laden world not often sampled by mainstream society.
Word Count: 602

Simply Lustful

Hurt me

Fuck me

Push it deeper

Force it harder

Break the rhythm

Break my skin

Savage my body

Bruise my mind

Bleeding me

Deliciously

As we start our fun

Before we’re done

Devils will blush

But angels won’t blench

I hunger for the taste of you between my teeth

Leave a piece of you behind after ecstasy

Take what’s left of me after your fantasies

As nails leave scratches

As the pain rushes

As the pleasure overwhelms

Take me

Beat me

Bite me

Mark me

Break me

Shape me

Nothing but a toy

A good fuck

A sweet lay

Breathless and open

I lay in wait for you

Make me thirst for the fight

Make me fear your scent

Make me thrill at your sight

Make me desperate

Earn my cry at your move

Beg you to stop but let's continue

All the while I pull you closer

As you own me with your piercing fingers

No I’m not confused

I just want to be abused

Tie me

Ride me

Lie to me

Fake concern

Say you love me

Then fuck me till I’m raw and bloody

Lifeless without your form ravaging my corpse

I’ll fight you just because

Scream no

But for all the protest and fuss

Learn the lingo

All it means is go

Deeper

Rougher

Harder

I wanna feel it stretch further inside with every passing instance

Close my eyes and know there’s damage

Feel it slide passed my barriers, break my resistance

Mutilate inner recesses to wreckage

Mind, Body and Soul

Cause blood to well up and eclipse frayed sanity

A new lubrication to add to the sweat and fear

Let bodies tense, press, force passed all hope of chastity

I want you to hurt me

I need the rush

The drive

Bring the tears into my eyes

Sets me alight

Brings me to life

Even while you take me closer to death

Take until there’s nothing left

I feel it pulse within

Brush that something deep and then

Send my body plummeting

Your beginning starts my spiraling

You ease out from my sin

Only to take the plunge back in again

You steal my breath

Break my lip

Possess my body

Yank my hips

Up to meet your own

Screw in the temples

With bodies that tremble

We’ll make the devils blush,

And the angels salivate!

Cut me

Tear me

Lick

Fuck

Suck

Play all those sick perverted little games

Call me your bitch

Your sex-pot whore

Make my body itch

With the need for penetration

Indulgin’

Fistin’

Shittin'

On parents' morals

Rape body and mentality

Not too fragile

Slice my skin against the knife

God don’t stop

You can end my life

Just make it hurt

Make me bleed

I need the pain

Tear my hair

Rip my clothes

Leave me bare

Turn pale complexion red

We’ll make the devils blush

And the angels salivate

I want it to hurt so bad

It’ll feel so good

Release me from the shell

And make me whole again

Or simply tear me apart

And make ribbons of my essence

So pretty-tempting

There doesn’t have to be a reason

To want to kill somebody

To want to fuck a person

Until their soul is freed

Don’t talk to me about right or wrong

Right is the feeling

And that’s the last of my caring

Hurting me

Bleeding me

Pushing it deeper

Breaking the rhythm

Forcing it harder

Savaging my body

Bruising my mind

Breaking skin

Fucking me

And in the end

We’ll make the devils blush

And the angels salivate

Ah, how I long for you...

Poem may be subject to future edits 'cause it's never gonna be perfect.

Mixed Emotions

2006-10-09T04:08:39Z

Title of Total Work: Mixed Emotions
Rating: Suitable for everyone.
Disclaimer: This work is solely my own original prose. Please do not use in any way without my permission. Thank you.
Summary: Free verse poetry, two poems to be particular, exploring a relationship from two different perspectives, the 'romantic' and the 'realistic'.
Word Count: 220
First Poem:

Not Here
Here I find myself again
Sitting amongst the flowers in your garden,
Fingers trailing in the fur of your kitten.
Yet you’re not here.

Today I had to assure,
For the first time that I didn’t know where you were.
So I find myself, watching as my eyes blur.
And you’re not here.

Lost sitting in twilight
Realizing I hadn’t said good-bye last night
Finding myself searching for your missing sight
But you’re not here.

Darkness begins to drape
And with it falls my heart, finding no escape
From anxiety that seems to be my fate
‘Cause you’re not here.

Second Poem:
Hear Not
Yet sometimes I’m so glad when you’re not here
All we ever do is fight and argue
Our conversations are so one-sided
Always it seems one of us talked
But I was the only one listening
Must be the idol you represent
That makes me seek you out for comfort
Must be the idol I represent
That keeps you keeping me like a pet
That’s keeping me here for all your abuse
I don’t qualify for your morals cause
You have many more toys if you break me
When you tire there is no consequence
But for me there is, I only have you
Except when you’re here I wish you would go
All you do is make me hate myself
For you, I can never be good enough
The moment I falter is the moment
You let me know I’m a disappointment
Put me in my place as just another
Broken plaything of my dear mother’s.

Well, I'm still not sure if I want to actually post personal experiences here at LJ, but figured sharing a bit of my writing couldn't hurt too much. Enjoy it while it's here, I'm still working on smoothing the rough parts but I'm fairly satisfied with this piece. What do you all think? ^_^

Yay, it's a poll

2006-10-07T05:37:20Z

View Poll: LiveJournal - To use or not to use

Gay Rights

2006-10-05T22:38:15Z

Why is it that, as a culture, we are more comfortable seeing two men holding guns than holding hands?"< - Ernest Gaines
We would like to know who really believes in gay rights on livejournal. There is no bribe of a miracle or anything like that. If you truly believe in gay rights, then repost this and title the post as "Gay Rights". If you don't believe in gay rights, then just ignore this. Thanks.

Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind.

Saw xxxshinyasxxx post this, figured I'd better too x)

“This sort of marriage is not in the best interest of children.” “God has a plan for marriage and this isn’t it.” “Allowing this kind of marriage will pave the way for all sorts of moral depravity.”
Comments from the 1960s on the interracial marriage of one man and one woman -- Mildred Jeter and Richard Loving.

Ah, don't you 'love' how much history enjoys repeating itself in the hearts of the ignorant?

Dur

2006-09-02T09:13:27Z

Go away! This journal is basically for lurker purposes only! xD

I'm just here for the chips and beer.

2006-06-01T18:57:26Z

Hey everyone on this fine day (2006-06-01 13:47:00 to be exact).

Like, oh my god, I finally got one of these things!

Even more amazing, I got tickets to go see Dir En Grey on their Family Values Tour in St. Louis! Hu-freaking-ray! =D Me so happy, I'm still squealing. ;P

I seriously can't believe how lucky I've been lately conserning Dir. I mean, I wanted to go see them last time but lucked out. Total bummer. Shortly after, they're on Tour with Korn! KoRn!!! Tickets a mere $10 bucks no less. TWICE in my home state. How can this get any better? Maybe I'll be able to sneak into the pit, or meet Diru 0_0 I mean, that's so unlikely and not going to happen, right? Then again, just last month I'd say them touring with Korn for $10 a show, coming twice to my state in less than 2 1/2 months would be an impossible thing.

With the way my luck's been going, right now I feel anything is possible and... I'm just so amazingly happy. =^_^= My first concert will be to see both Dir En Grey and Korn. Yesss. Life is goooood.

That's all I'm going to say right now. Shouldn't ramble and scare everyone away first post in, right? Right. ^^

~One Happy Pervert

===UPDATE Oct-5-2006===
By the way. For those who don't know, that show got canceled ;_; Later, I got more tickets to the last show in Virginia... and then it got canceled too xD
So much for MY happy ending x_x

But I totally called those meet-and-greets ;)

Maybe I should make a few more predictions... Like... They'll come back in Feb. to Wisconsin, closest to me, and in the freezing weather I'll be too sick to go xP Muahah, hope not about that sickness. COME BACK, DIR! Come back to Missouri, hopefully we'll have a pleasant winter and lots of fans to entice you ;_; I know I'll be there screaming for you this time, promise x)

~Tschu!